What’s your shoe?

I used to have a pair of shoes I loved to bits.

It was this pair of pointy ballet flats with a black mesh wrap. I got them in a store in Bangkok and for the next couple of years, I wore them everywhere. They paired well no matter the occasion and accompanied me to work, startup pitches, dates, lunches, dinners, interviews.

When a hole finally appeared and they had to be retired for good, I was crushed.

So you can understand my excitement in 2019 when I spotted the almost exact same pair at Zara. My credit card was out before the cashier even noticed I was standing at the counter. Price be damned. 


I was committed to my one-pair-of-shoes-for-all-occasions life again. 

But… I’ve only worn them twice since then. 

They still look great, and I’ve tried to pair them with quite a number of outfits. But it somehow doesn’t look 100% right. 

So they stay on the shelf. 

I realized that I was so hung up on the memory of this perfect shoe, I forgot to ask myself if it still fits the look I’m going for today. 

After all, 26-year-old Xinch is quite radically different from the me today. It isn’t too crazy to imagine that my style would have also evolved.

What’s the “shoe” you’re holding on to that no longer fits?

And you can replace “shoe” with any other word

  • Beliefs
  • Memories
  • People
  • Expectations
  • Objects
  • Choices


This list is nowhere near exhaustive, but you get where I’m going with this.

We often hold on to things because of some form of sentimental attachment or because of the way they once made us feel (good or bad)… without asking ourselves if they still serve us today or the person we are hoping to become? 

In this case, I held on to the illusion of my perfect shoe. 

So what’s your “shoe”?

What are you holding on to that no longer serves you?



And as for these shoes… they’re still a great-looking pair. But it’s time for me to bid them adieu. Since I’ll be putting them up on Carousell, I hope they some lucky girl the same kind of joy they brought me once upon a time.

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